Go, Go, Gadget Car!

When I took my drivers training class in 1972, which was an actual semester class at my high school, my instructor was emphatic with one particular reminder. Driving was a serious privilege. We were to have nothing hanging from our mirrors, radios should be low if used at all. How lame! Sitting up straight with my hands at 10 and 2 was such puritanical thinking I can hardly believe it. Didn't they know all the wonderful multi-tasking I could accomplish?

Shoot, if you want you can pay bills, read a map, style hair, apply makeup, watch a movie, hold a conference call while driving through construction and enjoy a 3 course meal. Some people think it's okay to try to drive like Danica Patrick. Who are "they" to tell us otherwise?

In my fantasy world, I have a GO, GO, Gadget Car. I don't care about luxury so much, nor about prestige of the type of vehicle own. I long, however, for a safe commute to work and for everyone to get out of my way when I'm trying to hurry. Is that to much to ask?

How we drive reveals a lot about us, I'm afraid. There are days that I'm kind and considerate on the road. Then there are days we're better off not discussing. :) But most days, I just want a car that will allow me to police everyone else around me and make them follow the rules of the road. Since I can't boss anyone around or control other peoples lives, I just want a little vengeance once in a while.

For instance, the other morning I was driving my son to work when I ended up behind a classic older car. Classic meaning big boat type...impenetrable by most things. He was swerving constantly and I could see on occasion as he lifted his arm that he was either reading a text or texting back. Swaying and swerving constantly made me keep a distance and remain even more alert. Finally I dropped my son off and proceeded onto my commute. Not to long after, I was behind another vehicle whose brake lights would constantly flash on and off for no apparent reason. The driver wasn't close to anyone ahead and I kept a safe distance behind. Driving anywhere from 10 mph below the speed limit to 15 mph over the limit was extremely irritating, to say the least. I thougth for a moment it was another tweeter when I noticed some arm moving and constant fidgeting. The dome light would flash on and off and on and off....finally I realized that I was driving behind a talented make-up artist who was working very hard at getting just the right cheek line.Where are all those GO, GO, Gadget options on this car?? I would just bump other drivers out of my way, safely of course, but not have to worry about them bumping me or slowing me down. I would simply have a Go, GO, Gadget arm that would reach right into their cars and take their phones, maps, books and make-up bags and put them away. On occasion I would be required to be a little more authoritative and stop them in their tracks with my GO, GO, Gadget drill that would reach over and remove a tire without injury. Just get them out of my way.

I would just love to have a neon sign that I could talk into which would flash them a scolding message expletive free of course! So to all you Texter, Tweeters and Indulgent Eaters, be aware!




What do you think, Santa?










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